Knowledge
by annem57
Summary: The aftermath of Scully's career-threatening injury.


**Knowledge**

**Summary: This is the sequel to "Belief". The aftermath of**

**Scully's career-threatening injury.**

**Other stuff: This simmered along for quite a while before I**

**got it to where I wanted it. And, before you all get annoyed**

**at the ending, PART 4 will be done very soon, I promise!**

* * *

Knowledge

From 'Belief':

"No." Dana drew in a deep breath, and exhaled. "This is

something I need to do for myself." She withdrew her hand

from his, and said, "Please, Mulder. Just let me be."

He stood, and wiped his face again. "I'll let you get some

rest, Dana, but believe me when I say that I will prove

myself to you." He got to the bedroom door, and turned and

said, "I do love you, Dana Scully, and I will prove that to

you." He walked back over to where Dana was sitting, and

kissed her very softly. "I'll be back tomorrow. I love you."

Then he was gone.

Dana rested her head on her good hand and let the tears

come.

###

The next ten days were among the worst that Dana Scully

had ever been through. Every morning and evening, Millie

Reynolds, a home care specialist, came in to help Dana with

the mundane tasks of living. Millie helped Dana to bathe and

dress, as well as assist Dana with the range of motion

exercises that she needed to keep her shoulder from freezing

up. Millie helped Dana to prepare meals, and do basic

cleaning. The Gunmen had already let Dana know that they

would come in every week to thoroughly clean her apartment

for her, as well as do the laundry and run errands. Byers was

coming in when Millie had her days off, to help Dana with

the exercise routine and her meals. Millie had arranged for

another nurse to come in to help with Dana's personal

hygiene on those days.

Dana Scully hated to rely on anyone for help, and it was

slowly killing her.

Mulder had come to see Dana every day. He had asked if

there was anything he could help with, and each time, Dana

had, very gently, turned him down. Mulder had heard from

Byers about what the guys were doing to help Dana out, and

Byers has simply told Mulder that he needed to give Dana

time to heal. Every day, Mulder would attempt to kiss Dana

hello and goodbye, but Dana would not allow it. He would

also tell that he loved her. Dana always acknowledged what

he said without reciprocating the sentiment, and Mulder

could see that she was rebuilding the walls around her heart.

Mulder could also see what it was costing her to allow

people, even those she trusted and was comfortable with, so

far into her personal life.

He ached for her, and he didn't know how to tell her.

###

Finally, Dana's doctors cleared her to return to work. Half

days at first, and desk duty only, but at least it was a start.

Skinner had briefed Mulder on her return, and had let him

know that the commendation ceremony had been scheduled

for the Wednesday morning of that week. Now, all Mulder

had to do was make sure that Dana got there.

The office door opened slowly to reveal his partner. "Hey,

Scully. Good to see you. What're Millie's driving skills like?"

Dana grimaced. "I would prefer to drive myself, but Dr

Symes said at least another month in the cast and sling. Even

then, it depends on how things are healing."

He nodded as he helped her into the visitor's chair. "I thought

that you could start looking through some personnel files if

you like. We've actually had a number of people express an

interest in being assigned to the X-Files, if you can believe

that."

Scully settled herself into the chair, and closed her eyes

briefly. By the time she opened them, Mulder had gone back

around to his chair, and was waiting for her reaction. She

considered how best to phrase her response for a few beats.

"Are you sure that you don't want to do that for yourself,

Mulder? After all, you're the one the additional agents will

be working with."

Mulder's eyes widened in surprise. "But you offered to do the

preliminary screening," he said. After a pause, something

occurred to him, and he asked, "Or was that just a way of

getting the bosses to agree with you?"

She tamped the anger down as Mulder's implication sank in.

"Yes, Mulder, I did offer to do the preliminary screening, but

they will all be doing fieldwork with you. Besides, how do I

know what qualities these agents will need to keep you

around? If I choose those with a background in science,

you'll just end up ditching them, and if I select any women

who are tall with dark hair, dark eyes, and well-developed

assets, you'll end up screwing them," she finished bitterly.

"That's what my experience tells me, anyway."

Mulder could not believe that his level-headed partner had

given a response so openly emotional, and he thought

furiously about how best to answer. "And I'm sorry that I

was the one that gave you that experience." He knew it

would not help to return fire, so he swallowed his automatic

emotional reaction down. "I would consider it a personal

favour if you would do this for me," he said, pitching his

voice low as he pushed the files across the desk. "You have a

far better insight into people's character than me, and I know

that you'll choose agents who will respect the work." He took

a deep breath, and let it out slowly. He leant forward across

the desk, and looked into Scully's stormy eyes. "Please,

Dana. I need you to help me out with this." She returned his

gaze, stormy blue into warm hazel, and was about to say

something when he beat her to the punch. "In fact, I won't

even review your choices. That has to show you that I trust

your judgement."

Scully moved carefully on the seat. "You know, you almost

had me until you brought up trust. How dare you! Once

again, it's 'do this for me and I'll trust you', isn't it?" Her eyes

flashed, and Mulder realised his error too late. "I offered to

go over those personnel files to help you out, not to win your

trust. You just don't get it, do you?" She stood very carefully,

picked up the files, and looked at Mulder sitting at his desk.

"Your desk, your office, your X-Files," she said as she made

her way to the door.

"Where are you going, Scully?"

"To find a place where I can spread out and go over these

files. After all, there's no extra desk space here, is there?"

She slowly left the room, and Mulder was left to replay the

conversation, and try to figure out where it all went wrong.

###

Skinner had just left the office after paying Mulder a short

visit. He had wanted to know how Scully was doing, and he

wanted to remind Mulder to make sure that Scully was at the

commendation ceremony on Wednesday. Mulder had just

leant back in his chair to think about how best to apologise to

Scully when there was a knock on the door, and a male voice

called his name. Mulder sat up, and invited the voice into the

office.

"Agent Mulder, I'm David Akermanis. Agent Scully asked

me to come talk with you about me joining your unit."

Mulder looked at Agent Akermanis. He was fair-haired and

blue-eyed, about five feet ten inches and one-seventy

pounds. Mulder almost hated him on sight, but swallowing

his pride, he motioned to the visitor's chair, and as

Akermanis sat down, Mulder started talking. "So, Agent

Akermanis, tell me why you want to work with Spooky

Mulder on the X-Files?"

Akermanis simply replied, "Because it sounds interesting."

Mulder leant back in his chair and nodded. 'This kid might

not be too bad,' he thought.

###

The rest of Mulder's day had flown by. He soon realised that

Scully had essentially set up interviews for him to do the

whole day, and he had spoken with five more agents, all of

whom seemed genuinely interested in the X-Files. She had

also sent him an email informing him of his interview

schedule for Tuesday, and he had another five agents to talk

with. More to the point, he realised that Scully had not come

back to the office while he was there. He had taken a brief

break for lunch, and when he got back, her things were gone.

Mulder needed to talk to Scully, and knew that he needed to

do more to repair things between them. He had been

relatively passive in his efforts to rebuild their relationship,

choosing to let her set the pace. He could see now that this

had been a tactical error on his part. By being passive, he had

allowed her to simply do nothing about their relationship, so

it was no wonder that she was backing away. 'Time to start

doing things my way,' he thought as he pulled up outside her

building.

As he walked up to her door, he thought he could smell

cigarette smoke. 'Nah, not possible,' he thought as he

knocked on the door before using his key to enter. As he

went into her apartment, the smell of smoke seemed

stronger, and he saw her sitting on her sofa, her head cradled

in her good hand. "Scully, what's the matter?" he asked as he

sat down beside her.

She looked up at him, and he saw the tear tracks her face. "I

had a visitor tonight."

"Let me guess."

"Yes. He made me an offer. . ."

#

"Get out of my home, you son of a bitch!"

"Now, Agent Scully, that's no way to talk to the man who

can cure you of this injury," the Smoking Man purred.

"I don't care. I'm not interested."

"Hear me out. I can cure you. Take the pain away. It means

you can be a full partner to Fox."

"Sure you can. What's the catch?"

"Well, you know that everything has a price?"

"And?"

"I cure you; you turn a blind eye to my dealings when I want

you to."

"No."

"Not even if it means you go back to being fully healthy?"

"No deal."

"What if I restore the means for you to have children as

well?"

Dana would have staggered at that proposal if she hadn't

been sitting down. "No. I will not give you the means to own

me in any way."

The Smoker's eyes glittered in the low light. "What if I give

you the whereabouts of Samantha?"

"You bastard," came the grim whisper. He merely looked

smugly at her. Dana gathered what was left of her courage,

and answered, "No. Not even for Samantha. Not even if

Mulder hates me for not giving this to him. I will not deal

with the Devil. I would rather die than make a deal with you.

Now get out," she said as she pulled her weapon out of her

sling, "before I shoot you where you stand." She ended her

statement by clicking off the safety and aiming between his

eyes.

The Smoker leered at her as he backed over to the door.

"Always a pleasure, Agent Scully. I wonder if Mulder will

be as difficult to deal with?" he asked as he left the

apartment. Dana dropped her arm, and slumped back into the

sofa, completely drained from the experience. All she could

think was, 'Please don't hate me too much, Mulder.'

#

Fox Mulder had looked sick while she related the

conversation with the Smoking Man, and had been positively

stricken when Scully mentioned Samantha. He stood, and

walked over to the door in a daze.

"Mulder?"

Her voice seemed to break the spell, and he looked at her. "I

need some time, Scully," he said quietly.

"I couldn't do it, Mulder. Not even for Samantha, if it meant

owing that black-lunged wretch in return. You understand,

don't you?" she ended in a whisper.

"Yeah." He opened the door, and left without saying

anything else.

Dana Scully leant back against the sofa, and felt that even

after everything that she and Mulder had been through

together, she was the one to kill his feelings for her. The

emotion overwhelmed her, and she wept.

###

Tuesday started out badly for Dana Scully, and shortly after

10 am, it became untenable.

Mulder exploded at her.

He had been out of sorts when Scully had arrived at the

office, and alternated between sullen and sniping. When the

prospective X-Files agents came in to speak with him, he

was fine; but once the third person was out of the office, the

sulky child came back. Finally, Scully asked him what he

thought about the candidates she had selected. His answer

shocked her more than she thought possible.

"I have no desire to talk with you ever again, Agent Scully."

When she got her breath back, she simply asked, "Why?"

"I will never trust you or anything you say to me. You have

betrayed me, and I want you to leave this office. I never want

to see you or speak to you again." The calm veneer he had

been holding onto fell away, and his rage came thundering

through. "You know that finding Sam has been my whole

reason for being in the FBI! You had the chance to get her

back, and you refused!"

"But, Mulder, I ,"

"Yeah, like I believe you would refuse a chance to get better.

But you can't stand the thought of me having Sam back, can

you? I hate you for what you've done!"

Dana went completely white when she heard him say he

hated her. Gathering what was left of her dignity, she left the

office. The last words she heard Mulder throw at her were,

"Yeah, just get out, and don't come back!"

Five minutes later, she was seated in front of Skinner's desk.

At his query of why she was there, she pulled out her

weapon, badge, ID, and cell, and laid them in front of him.

"It has been brought to my attention that I am now surplus to

requirements in the X-Files, sir. This is my resignation."

Skinner kept his surprise to himself, instead asking her to

start at the beginning.

Half an hour later, Dana Scully left her AD's office, still a

special agent. Skinner had convinced her to take more

medical leave. He leant back in his chair, and wondered just

what the Smoking Man's motives were in making the offers

to Scully. He could understand Mulder's rage, but he could

also understand Scully not wanting to be in debt to

Cancerman. He picked up the phone, and called Mulder.

"Mulder."

"Agent Mulder, you will put aside any disagreements you

may have with Agent Scully, and you will make sure that she

gets to the ceremony tomorrow morning. Is that clear?"

"Crystal." It was apparent that Mulder was not happy, but

Skinner wasn't going to let him get away with it. He was

hopeful that a night's rest might help Mulder to relax.

The next morning, it was obvious that Mulder was not going

to make even the slightest effort to work through the

situation. Byers was the one who brought Scully to the

Hoover building, and Byers was the one who escorted Scully

home after the ceremony. All Skinner could think was,

'Mulder, get over this. You're throwing away the best part of

you.' All Skinner could see was Dana Scully's pale face, the

way she had scanned the room looking for Mulder, and the

way she seemed to close in on herself when she realised that

Mulder was not going to be there.

###

Byers had just left her apartment after bringing Dana home

from the Hoover building. The drive home had been

uncomfortable for both of them. Byers was upset with

Mulder over his treatment of Dana, and he was upset for

Dana, and how alone she was feeling. For her part, Dana was

coming to terms with the realisation that Mulder would no

longer be a part of her life, and that her future would likely

see her flying solo.

Dana had finally worked up enough energy to rise from the

couch, and go into the kitchen to get something to eat, when

her doorbell rang. As she made her way to the door, she

thought of the Gunmen, and how grateful she was that they

had installed a surveillance system in her living room. They

had all of Cancerman's visit saved on tape, and were waiting

for Mulder to calm down enough so they could show him.

She got to the door, and slowly opened it. A tall brunette

stood in front of her. "Yes, can I help you?" she asked.

The woman smiled crookedly, and Dana thought, 'That smile

and those eyes seem familiar.' Her guest replied, "Actually,

Doctor Scully, I was going to offer to help you. May I come

in, please?"

Dana motioned for her to enter, and once again was grateful

for the surveillance system. She invited her visitor to sit, then

asked, "So, did Millie send you?"

The woman gave a bark of laughter before answering. "No,

Dr Scully. Millie didn't send me. But, I can help you."

"How?"

"I can restore you to full health."

Immediately, Dana was on guard, and tried to stand quickly.

She pulled her weapon from inside her sling, and, pointing it

at her guest, asked, "Who sent you?"

Once again, the crooked smile appeared. "No-one sent me,

Dr Scully. But I can tell you that you were right to refuse Mr

Spender's offers. It was always planned that I would be

returned to Fox at this time, and he was trying to gain a final

advantage." The woman watched the expression on Dana's

face go from anger to disbelief to a wary acceptance. "That's

right, Dr Scully. I'm Samantha."

###

The rest of the afternoon flew by for Dana and Samantha.

Dana had called Byers and asked him to come back. When

he did, she handed him a blood sample and a cheek swab,

and asked him to get a PCR test run as a matter of urgency.

She also cautioned him to not mention anything to Mulder,

as she wanted to be sure before she let Mulder know that his

sister was back. Sam was more than happy to provide the

samples, as she knew how many times her brother had been

duped by the Consortium.

Once Byers had gone, Sam then told Dana about the last

almost-thirty years. They spoke of the tests that had been

done, the many places Sam had been kept, the things she had

learned, and the things that had happened to her.

"You remember Jeremiah Smith, Dana?" Sam asked.

Dana nodded. "Yes, I met several of him once, on a case.

Why?"

"Because, during one of the procedures, Jeremiah came to

me, and gave me the power to heal. He cautioned me to be

careful how I used it, as it would make me a target." The

crooked grin appeared again, and Sam continued, "But I

know that it is the right thing to heal you."

Dana leant back into the couch, and let out a breath she didn't

realise she'd been holding. "But won't that make you a

target?"

"No. The Senior Council of the Consortium wants me to be

allowed to live a normal life now." She gave a brief snort

before going on, "Well, as normal as I can, after the last

thirty years."

"And you can make me well?" Dana asked, not wanting to

beg. "What's the catch?"

Sam nodded, and answered, "No catch, Dana. One of the

many things I learned from Jeremiah was compassion, and

there is no catch." She paused, then shyly looked at Dana's

mantel, at the photo of Mulder displayed there. "Well, could

you take me to Fox?"

Dana laughed for the first time in three months, and felt

better than she had in ages. "I'd be honoured to take you to

Mulder, Sam, just as soon as the PCR results come in."

The taller woman nodded in agreement. "Let's get started,

then, shall we?"

###

The red light was flashing on Mulder's answering machine as

he walked in to his apartment that Thursday evening. He

hadn't seen Scully at all in the last two days, and he kept

telling himself he was better off without her around. He

pressed the button, and her voice filled the room.

"Mulder, it's me. Please don't delete this message until you

listen all the way through. If you ever felt anything for me

other than contempt, please meet me at our bench at 10pm

tonight. I have something that you really need to see. Please,

Mulder; this is important."

'What could she possibly have that I need to see?' he thought.

He checked the time, and went to get changed.

At the appointed time, he approached the bench where Scully

was sitting with someone else. "So, Scully, what's so

important for me to see?"

Scully and her companion both stood. The taller woman kept

a little to the shadows, to allow Scully the time to make the

introductions. She handed Mulder a folder, and as he raised

his eyebrow at her, she said, "You are holding in your hands

a DNA test done earlier on someone I met yesterday."

"And?"

"Fox Mulder, meet your sister Samantha," Scully said as she

guided the woman forward into the light. He stood there,

disbelieving until Sam opened her mouth.

"Hey Buttmunch."

"Sam? It's really you?"

She nodded. "Yes, Fox, it's really me."

Scully moved over to Mulder, and went to put her left hand

on his arm. At her approach, though, he stepped away from

her, and Scully simply dropped her hand and moved back.

Sam stepped up to Mulder, and embraced him. Sam smiled at

Dana, who smiled sadly in return. As Sam turned her

attention back to her brother, Dana turned and walked away.

Mulder never noticed that Scully no longer had her arm in a

sling.

###

The Gunmen were unsurprised when Dana Scully knocked

on their door around 11pm, and were even less surprised at

her requests. She asked them for a new identity, and for the

use of a computer. Byers got her set up, and while she was

working, the guys busied themselves fulfilling her other

request.

Within a short space of time, the guys had created an alter

ego for Dana that they guaranteed no-one could break

through. Dana even chuckled a little at the name that had

been chosen for her. 'Lara Croften', she thought, then asked,

"And I suppose I have you to thank for the name, do I

Frohike?"

The little man reddened just a little, and grinned at her as he

answered. "Yep, the name was my idea. Byers said it would

be best for you to be a physicist, and Langly was in charge of

vital statistics." The three men looked expectantly at Dana,

and all of them broke into happy grins when she nodded her

approval.

The Gunmen were aware of the last few days in Dana's life:

the surveillance in the living room of her apartment was

always on, so the guys had seen Cancerman's visit and

Mulder's reaction to it, plus Samantha's visit and Dana's

miraculous healing. They chatted for a while about where

Dana would be moving to, and the guys had already set up

several secure ways to keep in touch. They had also set up a

system of prepaid car rentals, so that it would be difficult for

Mulder to track her.

The last thing that Dana had them do was remove the chip in

her neck.

"Are you sure that's wise, Dana?" Frohike queried her.

"Samantha explained all of this to me. When she healed me,

it wasn't just the arm injuries: it was everything." As the full

meaning of Dana's words sunk in, the three men were

overjoyed for her.

"No cancer, huh? Sweet." Langly was at his laid-back best.

Byers was the first to see the deepest meaning. "And

children, too," he beamed. "That's wonderful news!"

Dana smiled and nodded, then grew wistful. "Being

completely free of the cancer has taken a great burden from

me, that much is certain. As for children, though," and she

sighed heavily, "The only man I had ever considered as their

father wants nothing to do with me. So, kids probably won't

be a part of my future."

Frohike entered the conversation again, and said, "Give

Mulder some time, Dana. He'll cool off when he sees what a

loon he's been, and he'll want to find you."

Dana looked at him sadly. "You didn't hear what he said to

me on Tuesday. And, with Samantha back in his life, he

needs to be free to focus on her; which is great, but I'm tired,

guys. Tired of being second-best, and tired of being the

backup plan, and tired of being the afterthought. I need a

break: from DC, from the FBI, and from Mulder. I need to

get back to Dana, or in this case, Lara. I just need time," she

finished in a quiet, sad voice.

The four of them got back to work, and less than thirty

minutes later, Dana Scully was gone.

###

Samantha Mulder wasted no time in telling her brother

everything that had happened to her over the time they'd

been separated. Mulder was on an emotional roller coaster,

going from soaring highs at just being with his sister to

terrifying lows as she continued her narrative.

Sam also made him realise that Scully had done the right

thing in refusing the Smoking Man's offer.

Finally, after five hours of talking, the two Mulders made

their way to Scully's apartment, with Mulder determined to

apologise for his behaviour of two days earlier. He was

surprised to find that her apartment was dark, and felt cold.

As he investigated further, he noticed that many of her

personal belongings were not on display, and her bedroom

was a mess. Her cases were also missing, and Mulder was

beginning to get worried. He pulled out his cell, and dialled

her number, only to get the out of service message. Mulder

looked at Sam, and the two of them left the darkened

apartment.

Soon, Mulder and Samantha arrived at the Gunmen's place,

and he was surprised at their reactions to him. Sure, they

were polite, and were genuinely happy about Sam, but there

was a reserve there that Mulder wasn't sure that he liked. All

too soon, he found out why.

"Here, Mulder," Byers said as he handed Mulder two

envelopes. "All the answers for you, if you want them."

Mulder gave Byers a quizzical look, then looked at the

envelopes. The larger one had Skinner's name on the front,

and Mulder had a sinking feeling. "It's not. . "

"Yes, it is. Scully wanted you to give that to Skinner as soon

as possible. She's already emailed him to let him know you'll

be bringing in her weapon, badge, ID, and cell."

Mulder turned his attention to the smaller envelope. All it

had on the front was his name, written in Scully's flowing

script. As he opened the envelope up, he turned away from

the small group, and Byers led Sam towards their kitchen,

while Langly and Frohike started asking her questions.

Mulder sat down in the corner furthest from them, opened

the envelope, and started reading.

"Mulder,

I am so happy for you to have Samantha back in your life

now. Having her back will go a long way to easing your

burdens. Let me ease some more.

I have never blamed you for anything that has happened to

me as a result of our working together. Not my abduction,

not my cancer, not Emily: NOTHING.

I understand why you ditched me, and although I didn't agree

with it, I know your motives were generally pure.

In fact, the only problems I have ever had with our

partnership came after I'd fallen in love with you, and that

was my problem to deal with, not yours.

I have always come second in your life: to your search for

Samantha, to the X-Files, to bringing down the Consortium,

to all the other women. Being in love, and always coming

second in the life of the man I'm in love with hurts.

Given how you now feel about me, and given that you have

Samantha back, I feel that I have no option other than to

leave.

Be happy, Mulder. You have your sister back, and now you

can finally move on with your life.

All my love,

Dana."

Samantha and the guys turned at Mulder's first sob, and Sam

went to her brother to comfort him. He looked up at the guys,

and asked, "Where is she?"

The Gunmen looked at each other before Byers answered, "We

gave her our word not to tell you." As Mulder drew a breath to

make the request a demand, the Gunmen looked at each other

and Byers spoke. "We gave her our word, and even if that

weren't the case, we wouldn't be inclined to tell you because of

the way you've treated her. It was your neglect of your

partnership and friendship that resulted in Dana being injured in

the first place. We thought that was enough for you to really

learn what you could lose. But the first time your resolve is

tested, you desert her again. Do you really think she'd have felt

she had to go if you hadn't frozen her out?" The three men

turned away from the Mulder siblings then, before Frohike

turned back.

"You're always telling her she's the only one you trust, and if

she's not being honest with you, then she's working against you.

How did you respond to her honesty about this?"

Byers added one last comment. "She needs time to heal,

Mulder, and so do you. She promised us she'd keep in

touch."

Mulder turned to Sam and said, "You have to help me find

her. This is all my fault."

"I'll help you, Fox," she said as she put her arms around her

broken-hearted brother. Sam looked at the Gunmen, the

questions plain in her eyes. She obviously saw something in

the mens' eyes, because she nodded once, and turned back to

consoling her brother.

* * *

**AN: There is one more part to come, called 'Understanding'. The order to read them is: Unbelief, Belief, Knowledge, Understanding.**


End file.
